Dear Green Eyed Monster

Dear Green Eyed Monster,
       Jealousy.  It's a challenge that I have tried to overcome for a lot of my life.  I have always wished for things, and a lot of the time those things are things which belong to other people.  I am not poor.  I joke often about "being poor" which is really not the case.  I have a lot of bills and a lot of debt, which is no ones fault but my own.  There is a long story behind some of my debt and a bunch of bad choices behind the rest of it. It doesn't really matter what the reason is now, the point is that it exists.  I see other people my age or at my same stage of life or people who have the same job as me and they have things I wish I had.  People are buying houses and sometimes I wish we were buying a house.  I see people going on nice vacations to places I would like to go to, and I wish I could afford to take my family to those places.  I see people buying new cars or toys or whatever and I wish we could afford to buy those things.  I wish I didn't have my debt and my credit was better and I had a surplus of money like some people do.  I wish I could put aside more for retirement or my husband made enough so I could stay home with our kids.  I look at other people and wish I could have things they have.  I have to stop and remind myself of the things that I DO have, rather than the things I do NOT have.  Someone is jealous of what I have.  I don't want to envy other people.  I have so much, more than I feel I deserve most days.  I have to keep reminding myself about all of the amazing things I have, instead of dwelling on the "stuff" I don't have.  In reality, that's all it is, "stuff."  I've got things that money can't buy. I have a man that loves me, children that love me and a God that loves me.   It's a lot more than many people.  I have friends, good friends, friends that care.  I have a job I enjoy.  I have my health. I have family(the family I was born into, and then another amazing family I married into).  I also need to remind myself that those people who have "things" might not have it all.  It's hard to imagine that those people don't have everything, or they could be struggling in some other way.  Sometimes I just need to remind myself that the grass isn't always greener on the other side, you still gotta mow that grass too.

Dear God

Dear God,
    Well Lord, you know as well as I do that I am not in the place where I should be.  I know this each and every day, and yet I find it hard to get to that place.  What I am amazed by each and every day is that you still take into consideration all of my requests, even when I am not good about fulfilling your requests of me.  Even though I don't follow all of your rules like I should, you continue to provide for me. Last night I was reminded that changes in the seasons of our life are not meant to be a punishment for what we've done right or wrong.  You are a loving Lord.  I pray I continue to grow as a person, and as your servant, in every season of my life.
 Ecclesiastes 3

1There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

2a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

4a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

Love,

Theresa